Think before you forward

As an IT professional, one of my biggest pet peeves are forwards warning me of dire events or telling me if I don't send this to 50 people, something bad will happen to me. This little irritation began many years ago when I was working at Microsoft. I supported MSMail and Exchange. For those of you who don't know what these are, they are email programs, but on the server side. They are what processes the email, send/receive it, and put it in the correct mailbox. That's not the exact technical description, but a general description so you know what I'm talking about. I was at work one day and got an email from a family member saying if I forwarded it on, Bill Gates was going to give everyone that forwarded it a very large sum of money. The email went on the say Microsoft was testing an email tracking software. I showed it to a co-worker and was like "We are??" That began my distaste for this kind of email.

That particular email has changed over the years and shows up every few months. I've seen the same email with Pepsi, AT&T, Coca-Cola, and recently Google, but the general idea was someone was going to pay the forwarder a large sum of money just for forwarding the message on.

There are a few things I want people to think about before forwarding messages or re-posting things on their Facebook page. First, if it sounds to good to be true...it probably is. Take 2 minutes and do a few internet searches. I bet you can find your own answers.

Second, does it sound fishy? Is someone asking you for your bank account number or personal information so they can send you a large sum of money? Is the email coming from outside the US? Again, it's probably a scam or hoax.

Third, check http://snopes.com/. I bet you'll probably find your email or re-post listed on this page somewhere. Snopes will tell you if it's true, partially true, or false. It will also give you some history on where it started.

Finally, if you've done your research and found what your sending or posting to be factual, please remove all the forwarded email addresses before sending it along. Just send the body of the original message. I usually even go so far as to send it to people using BCC so I don't inadvertently give out someones email address.

A little common sense goes a long way. As the subject says, think before your forward. If you're sending from a work email address, you'll make your IT people happy. If you're sending it to a group of friends, the 5th or 6th person to forward the same email won't be broadcasting your (or my) email address to strangers. If you want more information, please feel free to message me. I'd prefer to have a ton of messages with sincere questions than to get a mailbox full of unnecessary forwards.

Techologically challenged

This morning an end user showed up a day early for his appointment with another tech because he was in town sooner than expected. The tech he had the appointment with was out of the office for the day, so I offered to take care of him in my co-workers absence. I worked on his laptop and found nothing really wrong but user error. The end user left happy and newly educated.

This afternoon, another tech sends me an email saying the same end user from this morning was trying to get in touch with me. I called the user and asked how I could help. He said since he had gotten back to his home office he was unable to connect to his wireless network. I asked him to read what wireless connections were showing available and he said none. I asked him to tell me what color the light was on his wireless card, red or blue. He said red. I instructed him to touch it (it's a touchpad) and tell me if it turns blue. Of course it did, and all of his wireless connections suddenly appeared. His wireless had gotten turned off.

He exclaimed I was a genius and happily hung up the phone. ROFL!

I love my job...it keeps me entertained.

DVD player woes

A co-worker came over a few minutes ago with a laptop from one of our end users. He had the keyboard popped up so you can see the system board and such. I noticed a big purple area over where the DVD player is located. Upon closer investigation, I realized the user had somehow managed to shove a CD above the drive, wedging it between the bay and the actual drive. Keep in mind the DVD drives we use are completely closed, and have a tray that slides out for the disc. WTH? How did they manage to do that?!?!

Almost...but not quite

Received a laptop that was shipped in by one of my end users today. It came in a really nice laptop shipping box. The box is perfect, nice and padded, cradling the laptop perfectly. One minor detail he forgot... TAPE THE FREAKING BOX SHUT!

...just saying...

Management epic fail

So yesterday I had a new user call that had just received her system. She had lost the paper that had her username and password. I called Data Security and got it for her. Then I walked her through changing the password. Not difficult. Later in the day I get the below email forwarded to me by our dispatcher from the manager of the Helpdesk:

Can you find out exactly how this was done? Did it require tools that the helpdesk doesn’t have? Do we need an updated script?

Spoke with EU. Gave her credentials. Walked through changing password. Contacted DS and let them know. Closing ticket.
*** CASE CLOSED 09/07/2010 04:21:00 PM Spoke with EU. Gave her credentials. Walked through changing password. Contacted DS and let them know. Closing ticket.
***STATUS CHANGE 09/07/2010 16:27:18

I saw this and was like, huh? So I replied to her with this:
All I did was give her the new username and password (that I had to call Data Security to get), got her logged in, walked her through connecting to VPN, walked her through changing her password, then called Data Security and told them she had changed her password so they could turn her PeopleSoft stuff back on. Not rocket science. If he needs step by step on how to change a password let me know.

So this morning she forwards me another email from him wanting step by step instructions. I was like really?? Seriously?? So, being the smart ass I am, here’s how I replied:

Here are the steps I took:

1) Gave EU her new credentials
2) Had her type username and password in
3) Verified she had an internet connection
4) Had her open VPN client
5) Had her select tunnel to Modesto and click connect
6) Once connected to VPN, had her hit CTL+ALT+DEL and click change password
7) Once back to the desktop had her hit CTL+ALT+DEL to lock system
8) Had her hit CTL+ALT+DEL to log back on
9) Contacted Data Security to let them know EU had possession of her system so they could turn her personal access back on

Here is a link to the Microsoft page on how to change a password in case there are further questions:
http://windows.microsoft.com/en-US/windows-vista/Change-your-Windows-password


I know it was probably a career limiting move, but I just couldn’t resist. I did stop short of saying CTL+ALT+DEL was a utility built into Windows since Dr. DOS. LOL

I don't have a brain...can you help me?

The following is an actual conversation between me and an end user:

End user: My computer keeps turning off on it's own!

Me: Are you using a docking station for your laptop?

End user: Yes I have a docking station.

Me: Is the green light on?

End user: No it isn't.

Me: Hit the power button on the docking station and tell me if the green light comes on.

End user: It doesn't come on.

Me: Is the blue light on that indicates the laptop is connected to the dock?

End user: No. Does the laptop have to be sitting in the docking station?

Me: ..... yes ma'am. Where is your laptop?

End user: It's sitting on my desk.

Me: So it's not on your docking station?

End user: No, my docking station is on the other side of my desk and I need my computer where it is.

Me: Ok. Do you have your travel AC adapter with you?

End user: Yeah...it's in my bag.

Me: Can you get it out and plug it into the laptop?

End user: Sure...but I don't know how that will help.

I hear her rustling around in the background...

End user: Do I need to plug it into the wall as well?

Trying to seriously stifle a laugh and rude comment...

Me: Yes ma'am

I hear more rustling in the background...then the Windows startup sound.

End user: Hey! My laptop just came back on!

Me: Yes ma'am. It sounds like your battery died. You'll need to leave it plugged in so the battery can charge all the way up.

End user: Oh...so it doesn't charge the battery if it's not on the docking station.

Me: No ma'am

Yes...that really happened. ROFL

Epic fail

Evidently some of our corporate users feel it's ok to deface company equipment or personalize them like they belong to them. A tech brought a system in earlier that someone had hand painted the department name on the lid of the laptop...in White Out. Yeah...really. I didn't think to take a picture at the time, that would've been awesome!

I just got a system in for repair from one of my users that decided his laptop needed some color. Not exactly sure why they feel it's ok, but for some reason they do.

Karma in the workplace

Yesterday I had my work load down pretty far and asked my co-workers if they needed any help. One of the techs handed me a high priority ticket and said he’d been trying to contact the end user for 2 days unsuccessfully. I told him I would take care of it. After leaving 5 voicemails in an hour, she decided to call me back. She explained she uses an application to program the phone systems here on our main campus, as well as at 2 of our large distributors, but recently she hasn’t been able to connect to the 2 distributor systems. I asked if it was just happening on her system or on any system she logged in to. She tried another system and had the same issue. That eliminated an issue with her computer. I went through several other steps, eliminating the network, Data Security, and any potential firewall or proxy issues, leaving only the application itself.

I explained to the user everything I had done and my findings, and that she would need to call the vendor because we don’t support that software. The user starts yelling at me saying it wasn’t the software, that I had to fix it, and it was all my fault. Um…ok. So I went and talked to my boss, explaining everything I had done, and asked if there was anything else I could try or do. My boss calls the users boss and explains everything to him. The users boss wasn’t even sure why she called in a ticket for the issue since it wasn’t we supported. He said he would go talk to her. My boss gives me an update but asks me to leave the ticket open just in case. So I leave for the day thinking the issue is resolved and the end user was going to call the software vendor. See where this is going?

This morning, the end user calls again asking why I hadn’t fixed the issue, and what was I going to do about it. I calmly explained that all the troubleshooting we had done pointed at the application itself, which we did not support. You can imagine how happy she was to hear that. So I get another ear full about how I’m supposed to magically fix this, and yes it’s still somehow my fault. I got off the phone with her and started double checking everything from network connectivity to group policies to active directory and so on. Everything still point right back at the client application.

The user, in the meantime, has decided I’m evidently incapable of doing my job and runs to the desktop operations manager. What she didn’t know was said manager had overheard how the user had talked to me, and said manager happens to like me and considers me a very capable technician. You can imagine how that conversation backfired. Finally I get an email from the end user saying how she appreciated all the help I had given her and the she now feels it’s an issue with the application and will call the vendor.

…wow…wonder why I didn’t think of that!

So an end user called our first level support this morning to have the time and time zone changed on his laptop. Really??
...the first level support tech escalates it to second level support. Yeah...really. I called the user thinking there had to be more to it. Nope. Walked the user through changing his settings. The user says "that was it??" yep...here's your sign.
Wow...just wow

I'm thinking there's no way his computer has rebooted that fast. I reconnect and realize he is talking about the blue background in Word when it doesn't have a document open. NOTE: never tell a tech you have a blue screen unless your computer just crashed.

Today, the same user calls still having some problems. I remotely control his computer and try to open a document. He tells me he has a blue screen. So... I disconnect from his system and literally 10 seconds later he says "ok, it's open." WTF??

So yesterday I was on the phone with an end user for over an hour. He told me he couldn't open any of his attachments. After finally remotely controlling his computer I realize he isn't talking about email attachments, he is talking about files in his documents folder.

Not exactly IT related...

My office is across the street from one of the local DMV locations. We always have trouble with people parking in front of our building or in our parking lot, as well as the local "dumpster divers" scavaging through our dumpsters looking for treasure. Our shipping lady saw a man going through one of the dumpsters and went out and ran him off. A few minutes later, one of the other ladies looked out and told her "There goes another one." So the shipping lady runs outside, goes around the corner and see's this 19 or 20 year old kid standing with his pants almost down to his knees...peeing on our roll-up door that goes to our docking area. WTF??

She starts going off on him. A few of the guys hear her and go out to see what's going on. Now these two guys aren't exactly small. In fact, they are 2 of the 3 biggest guys in the office. The poor kid takes off running...followed quickly by the 2, now very angry, techs. Of course the techs stopped at the end of our building but the poor kid ran all the way to the DMV parking lot, jumped in his car, and sped off.

I don't know who I laughed at more...the irate shipping lady who was busy yelling at the kid telling him "I've got kids older than you! I should whoop your butt! Where's your mom??" Or the two techs trying to be heroes!

An uneventful day

In the office, some techs tend to throw other techs under the bus. So the guys came up with a solution. Someone printed out a picture of a yellow school bus. When a tech throws someone under the bus...they get the picture taped to their desk. Pretty good idea...the bus just seems to be staying on the same desk...and no...not mine...lol

Yeah that was kind of weak, but it was a pretty uneventful day. Tomorrow being Friday, I'm hoping for much better results. :)

Blast from the past

We've all heard the stories about the "cupholders" and such not working on computers, but this one actually happened to me when I first started in the IT industry.

I was working for a small company that made POS (point of sale) software for restaurants as a helpdesk tech. Our system booted up using 5.25" floppy disks (yes I'm showing my age here) and was specific to each customer. One day a lady calls having issues with the disk. It seemed one of the files wasn't putting the correct information on the screen. I asked her to make a copy of the disk and send it to me. The next day I received a FedEx envelope from her. I opened the envelope and found a single piece of paper...an actual photocopy of the disk...

Yes...it actually happened.

Where to start

I've been in the IT industry for many years now and have always said I should write a book about the funny, stupid, and weird things I have run into during my career. This afternoon I jokingly posted my status on Facebook as "I should start a blog about stupid user stunts." The more I thought about it, the more I thought what the hell. So here goes nothing.

Yesterday I was working with one of my users in Canada who was having some issues with his laptop. It seemed like a simple software issue that I had corrected many times over the past couple of years. All I needed to do was connect to his system remotely, take control, and install the fix. No matter what I tried, I couldn't get connected to his system and instructed him to ship it to me. This morning I received what looked like a wine bottle box from this particular user. I opened it to find a piece of bubble wrap just kind of hanging out in the box, not wrapped around anything, just folded and laying there. The partitions that originally held bottles were folded flat against the sides, and the laptop was lying loose inside.

This is what I saw when I opened the box:



This was actually shipped internationally. The funny part...it booted up perfectly and the only problem was the actual problem it was shipped in for. I was really tempted to return it to the user in the same box, but decided to send it back a little more secure along with a note suggesting he retain the box in case he needed to ship his system in the future. He must have had the luck of the Irish today :)

Happy St Patrick's Day!